Never Again
by Kuma2216
Summary: Having been ill Hermione does not arrive for her seventh year until September 9th. Everything should be fine right? Harry can't get into that much trouble in just 9 days... Does not follow cannon. HP/HG NL/LL


A/N:

I own my house, I own my car, I don't own Harry Potter. Do you think J.K. would trade? No? Ah well, was worth a shot.

Oh, hey I almost forgot, meet Whiskers. Whiskers' full name is Cat/bear-creature-thing-with-terrifyingly-sharp-teeth-and-claws. But we just call him Whiskers.

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Happy reading!

Having finally been released from St. Mungo's after a nasty bout of Dementors Influenza, Hermione Granger entered Hogwarts grounds on the morning of September 9th. More than a week after term had started.

"Granger!" A blonde projectile launched itself at the bushy haired genius, landing at her feet. "Granger, thank Merlin! You are never allowed to leave again! Never. Again!" Draco Malfoy sobbed from the floor. His fists clenched the front of her robes, his eyes were wide and pleading. "You have to do something! Anything! Just make him stop! Please!" Draco entreated.

Hermione sighed, it was going to be one of _those_ days. So much for a quiet seventh year. "Do stand up Malfoy. You're getting snot all over my robes." Draco stood quickly, producing a handkerchief as he did so. "First, I didn't leave. I am late due to illness. Second, I am going to assume that the "he" you are speaking of is Harry. Third, why should I?" Hermione had her arms crossed and looked at the Malfoy Scion expectantly.

Panic welled up within Draco as he realized Granger _wasn't_ going to do anything! He clutched frantically at Granger's arm. "Godfather missing defense, kill Susan. Is Simon made dragon cats, Hat won't! Firsties subverted two Professors _anything_!" Malfoy babbled incoherently, his arms gesturing wildly, desperately willing Granger to understand. His robes were wrinkled, dark circles ringed his eyes, and his normally perfectly coiffed hair was in disarray. He looked like he hadn't slept in days.

Hermione waited patiently until Malfoy had finished his nonsensical rant. As the blonde menace stood there panting, Gryffindor's Princess attempted to sort through the verbal vomit.

"Miss Granger." Headmistress Mcgonagall's stern voice banished Malfoy's raving from Hermione's thoughts. "I trust you have recovered fully?" The transfiguration mistress strode across the courtyard to the two students.

"Yes Headmistress. I'm to rest for the next week and Healer Meadows sent some potions to Madame Pomfrey that I'm to take, but otherwise I'm quite well." Hermione smiled fondly at the woman who had been her head of house for five years before her promotion to Headmistress.

Mcgonagall softened her stony countenance and returned the smile, briefly embracing her smartest student. "Glad to hear it. You had us quite worried." Draco let out a high pitched whining sound as the two women walked up to the castle. He stood open mouthed staring at their retreating backs and then snapped it closed, scrambling after the two witches.

"The healers said I was never in any real danger, my parents admitted me to St. Mungo's before it got too bad. Dementors influenza is just very stubborn, and highly contagious. Poor Harry tried everything to get in to see me. He actually went so far as to Polyjuice himself as one of the Healers!" Hermione smiled warmly as she remembered the lengths her fiance had gone to, trying to visit her. "It failed of course, they have detection wards everywhere."

"Yes, James did something similar to see Lilly after a rather spectacular potions accident. _His_ accident, I don't think Lilly ever made a bad potion." Mcgonagall smiled at the fond memories. "James, by the way, is the reason St. Mungo's has those wards up."

Draco tugged frantically at Hermione's sleeve, babbling for her attention. "Yes Malfoy, I understand." Hermione snapped, she was quickly losing her patience with the ferret. It was her first day out of the hospital and the very last thing she wanted to do was listen to the bane of her existence whine. "Harry has caused havoc and chaos, but what do you expect me to do while standing about in the courtyard? Honestly."

Thank Merlin! Granger understood. Granger would fix it. Potter _listened_ to Granger. Draco gave a sigh of relief, his breathing began to even out as he allowed himself to fall a few paces behind the two witches.

"Yes, there has been quite a bit of commotion lately, but it is hardly fair to blame Mister Potter for all of it." Mcgonagall defended her other favorite student.

"No, merely most of it! The rest can be attributed to Mr. Longbottom and that peculiar little elf, Dobby." Deputy Headmaster Flitwick jovially entered the conversation as the three reached the door. "Good to see you up and about Miss Granger. Ah, Mister Malfoy, I do believe Miss Brown is looking for you, something about spring colors I believe?"

Draco paled, panicking anew he glanced about wildly, looking for the nearest escape route. Spotting a likely candidate he darted off towards the forbidden forest.

"Do I want to know?" Hermione asked tentatively.

"Probably not." Mcgonagall failed to hide a slight grin.

"Minerva, I thought you ought to know, I gave Mister Potter permission to take the first years on one of his trips to that field he seems to like so much. He assures me they will be back in time for dinner." Flitwick informed them.

"Field trip?" Hermione questioned with mounting dread. Who knows what kind pandemonium was happening with just Harry to watch the firsties. God and Merlin both knew Harry was just as bad as the first years.

"Yes, this makes the fifth time he's taken the children out." The Headmistress continued. Hermione stifled a groan. _Then again,_ she thought, _if he took all of them maybe the Purebloods among them might change a few of their views._ "Though what is so interesting about a field I will never know." Mcgonagall sighed and shook her head. "Well, I'm sure you'll want to freshen up before lunch. Shall I have an elf show you to the Head Girls quarters?" Mcgonagall beamed at her prize student with blissful ignorance.

"N-no, that's alright. I know where it is." Hermione stuttered in daze as a small herd of neon colored kittens with dragon wings and spiked ridges along their backs tumbled through the hall and down a side corridor. "What on earth? Are those..."

"An experiment of Mister Potter's, the children love them and Hagrid is quite taken with them as well." Flitwick informed the stunned Gryffindor. "It's all been quite exciting!"

Hermione shook her head, sighing. "Par for the course I suppose. I really shouldn't be surprised any more. Especially if it involves Harry." With a final shake of her head Hermione excused herself from the two professors.

Head reeling, Hermione made her way to the heads suite on the fourth floor, only to find that it wasn't there. In fact, nothing was where it should be. Classrooms were rearranged, there were extra hallways and missing hallways, and since when did Hogwarts have an indoor swimming pool?

"It's on the seventh floor." Hannah Abbot smiled as she came up to the flummoxed Gryffindor. "At the end of the hallway the Room is in. Glad to see you're back!" The Hufflepuff called over her shoulder as she hurried down the hall.

"The seventh floor…? Harry, what did you do?" Mystified, Hermione turned back the way she had come. On her way to the sixth floor she bumped into a handsome redhead in Hufflepuff robes. He flashed her a brilliant smile.

"Hermione, glad you're ok. Dementors Influenza is nasty stuff."

"Yes, Thank you." Hermione tried desperately to remember who the boy was.

"By the way Aunty wants to meet with you and Harry soon, she didn't say what it was about, but was fairly adamant that I tell you."

"Your Aunt?"

"Yeah, don't worry though, if you were in trouble an Auror would be delivering the message, and probably escorting you." The red head gave a laugh. "Hey, you haven't seen Hannah have you?"

"Umm… Fourth floor." Hermione told him, it bothered her that she couldn't place the boy, she knew all her year mates and all the sixth years, but he was too old to be a fifth year. Was he a transfer student? But if he was how would he know who she was? Why would a transfer student's aunt want to talk to her and Harry?

"Thanks Hermione. Oh, and when you see Harry, tell him that so far I haven't experienced any negative side effects."

"I will." Hermione promised in confusion. Side effects? From what, and why would Harry need to know that?

"Thanks again! I'll see you at tomorrow's meeting!" The redhead jogged off.

"What meeting?" Hermione wondered as she continued her way up to the seventh floor. Just as she reached the hallway to the Room of Requirement she passed by a group of students who looked to be second and third years. They were a raucous group, yelling and running about. "No running in the halls!" She scolded them, "And you are indoors, use your inside voices."

Various subdued versions of "Sorry" and "Yes Ma'am" answered her as the children obediently quited and slowed down.

Hermione watched as they disappeared around a corner. Something nagged at her, she was missing something. As she walked past Barnabas and his eternally doomed attempts to teach trolls to dance it hit her. The students robes hadn't had any house colors on them, they were the plain grey and black robes first years wore before being… sorted. Hermione's footsteps slowed and then stopped, just in front of a door at the end of the hallway that hadn't been there last year.

What had Malfoy said? Hermione stared hard at the door, trying to remember the Slytherins babble. She closed her eyes in concentration. "Godfather missing defense, kill Susan. Is Simon made dragon cats, Hat won't! Firsties subverted two Professors _anything_!" _None of that makes sense._ Hermione's eyes flew open, and she did a sudden about face. The bushy haired witch paced in front of the portrait three times, clearly picturing her request.

The door appeared and Hermione went in, closing the door quietly behind her. The room was small and well lit. It's only furnishings were a comfortable chair, a small end table and a blackboard with several sticks of chalk.

"Dobby?" Hermione called.

"Yes Miss Grangy ma'am?" The overly excited elf popped into the room bouncing on his feet.

"Hello Dobby, how was your summer?" Hermione asked

"Dobby's summer was wonderful!" Squeaked the little being as he bounced even faster. "Dobby and Master Harry Potter sir had great adventures! We's went to many stores and auctions and explore-" Suddenly the little elf went quiet and still, "Dobby is not to be telling Master Harry Potter Sirs Miss Grangy about that yet. That is for Master Harry Potter Sir to tell. Dobby is a good elf and will not give away Master Harry Potter Sirs secrets!" He looked at Hermione apologetically.

Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose, she could feel a headache coming on already. "Is this secret something that will upset me when Harry tells me?"

Dobby paused to think, "Dobby does not think so Miss Grangy Ma'am. Master Harry Potter Sir is saying Miss Grangy Ma'am will like it very much! Master Harry Potter Sir is doing it for Miss Grangy Ma'am!" The elf was bouncing again, twice as fast as before.

Hermione smiled happily, Harry had a surprise for her and had gone out his way keep it a surprise. She had known about the shopping sprees Harry had gone on, she had been with him on several, though she hadn't known he had gone to any auctions. That would bear further investigating. "I'm glad you had a good summer Dobby."

"Yes! Very good! Dobby got many socks!" The elf was dancing in place with his joy. Then his ears drooped, "Dobby is sorry that Miss Grangy Ma'am was sick. Master Harry Potter Sir tried to visit, but the Meany Healer would not let him in! Dobby tried to Elf pop him in but they is casting wards against it."

"I know, Harry told me in one of his letters. It really was for the best, Demonters Influenza is very contagious. But thank you for trying." Hermione gave the little elf a hug for his efforts. She smiled as she thought about the novel length letters Harry had taken to writing her over the summer.

"What did Miss Grangy ma'am need Dobby for?" Dobby asked, blushing at the praise.

"In order to leave St. Mungo's sooner I skipped breakfast, and it's another three hours until lunch." Hermione began. She knew she should have eaten breakfast, but she hadn't wanted to stay longer than necessary and if she had been forced to eat one more hospital meal…. Well it's best for all concerned that she hadn't.

"You's wants Dobby to bring snacks?"

"Yes Please, if you don't mind."

"Dobby will does!" Dobby popped out silently as Hermione tried not to wince at the atrocious grammar.

That done Hermione wrote Draco's garbled words on the blackboard in white chalk. "Godfather missing defense, kill Susan. Is Simon made dragon cats, Hat won't! Firsties subverted two Professors _anything_!"

"No, it still doesn't make sense." Hermione cursed herself for not paying more attention to what the Ferret was saying. Briefly wondering if it was worth it to search the forest for him Hermione stood back and studied what she had written. She removed the punctuation and regrouped the words a few times until she had something that resembled proper sentences. Sort of.

Godfather missing. Defense kill. Susan is Simon. Made dragon cats. Hat won't. Firsties subverted two professors. Anything!

Hermione sat back in the overstuffed chair and stared at the phrases. Something didn't look right. The first half seemed right, it was the second half that needed work. After a few more moments of contemplation Dobby startled her by popping in with a basket.

"I is brought snacks for Miss Grangy Ma'am! Is Miss Grangy Ma'am needing anything else?"

For a moment Hermione considered asking him if he could explain what was going on, but in the end decided that she was better off figuring it out on her own. Hermione shuddered just thinking about wading through the grammatical nightmare that was elf speech. Never mind the long complicated titles. She also considered asking the Professors but they had a bad habit of dismissing such things and glossing over pertinent facts. And so far her encounters with her fellow students had left her with more questions than answers.

"No thank you Dobby. Thank you for bringing the snacks."

"You is welcome. You is be remembering to call Dobby if you's needs anything else!" The elf admonished.

"I will." Hermione promised. Dobby gave a satisfied nod and popped out. Hermione peeked inside the basket. Watercress sandwiches, bacon sandwiches, crisps, carrot sticks and butterbeers were packed into the basket. Hermione pulled out one of each sandwich, a bag of crisps and a butterbeer. She would snack on the carrots later.

After having finished off the "snack" and helping herself to some apple tarts she found in the bottom of the basket, Hermione turned her attention once more to the words written on the chalkboard. "Well, I doubt that the firsties would have been able to subvert anyone this early in the year, if it were closer to end of term it would be another matter…" With a tart in one hand she rewrote the last few phrases.

Godfather missing. Defense kill. Susan is Simon. Made dragon cats. Hat won't firsties. Subverted two. Professors anything!

It didn't make any more sense than before, but it was closer to it now. "Okay. First phrase. 'Godfather missing'. Sirius is dead, and I rather doubt Malfoy would care about Harry's godfather anyway. In one of Harry's letters he mentioned that Snape disappeared shortly after the Feast. And hadn't… yes, I did hear that Snape was Draco's godfather."

"That's one solved." Hermione muttered to herself as she wrote it out on the other side of the board.

Decryption:

1) Draco's godfather, Snape, is missing. Why? Ask professors. Ask Neville if Harry finally snapped and killed Snape. If so make sure body is never found. Acromantulas would appreciate a snack. Make sure Neville and Luna are able to provide alibi.

"Next phrase. 'Defense kill.'" Hermione frowned, every year the defense teacher had tried to kill Harry but again she didn't think Malfoy was worried about the well being of Harry. Oddly enough Harry's letters hadn't said anything about this year's defense professor. Hermione decided to leave that one for later, she needed more information.

2) Need more info. Did Harry decide to become proactive and make a preemptive strike? If so make sure body is never found. Acromantulas would appreciate a snack. Make sure Neville and Luna are able to provide alibi.

"Moving on." Hermione sighed as she reread the third phrase. "Susan is Simon." She thought back to the encounter with the strange Hufflepuff. "Of course. Susan somehow switched genders and is now Simon." Hermione wrote the translation down. "At least that one was easy."

3) Susan switched genders and is now Simon. How? Why does it involve Harry?

"Four. 'Made Dragon Cats.' If I hadn't seen them with my own eyes I never would have believed it. When Malfoy was making sense he implied that it was Harry's doing. Professor Flitwick said so as well"

4) Somehow Harry has created a new species. How, why, and when?

"Next up is 'Hat won't firsties'. I assume he's talking about the Sorting Hat. So, what… the hat won't sort the first years? The students in the hall didn't have any house colors, but Draco, Hannah, Sus-Simon and I are all wearing house colors. Hmm…" Hermione started a new section on the blackboard.

Questions:

1) Why do the younger years not have house colors on their robes?

After a moment's thought she added a second question.

2) Why has the Castle been rearranged?

Hermione went back to the Decryption section,

5) The Sorting Hat won't sort the first years. Why? And how could that possibly be Harry's fault?

"'Subverted two.' Well there's a cryptic comment if I ever heard one." Hermione tapped a finger against her lips. "Again, Malfoy's initial comments imply Harry. So Harry subverted two what? Professors? Aurors? Death Eaters? No, Malfoy wouldn't be worried about the first two and the last is unlikely, considering most of them are dead or in Azkaban. He must mean two of the Slytherins, they're only ones Malfoy would really care about. But which two?" Hermione worried at her bottom lip, this would open a whole new can of political worms, in both the school and the government.

6) Harry has subverted two (probably) Slytherins. Subverted to what? Which two? and Why?

"And last but not least, 'Professors anything.' Well, knowing the staff here, Malfoy probably means that the staff isn't doing anything about the chaos and are simply letting things play out. Nothing new there."

7) Professors are ignoring the situation as usual.

Hermione switched her attention over to the Questions section.

3) Why is Malfoy afraid of Lavender?

4) Where is Harry taking the first years?

5) Today is Wednesday, why is no one in class?

6) What meeting was Simon talking about?

The brightest witch of the age stood back and looked over her work, and frowned. There were entirely too many unanswered questions here. It was time to go investigate. Hermione took out a roll of parchment from her bag and copied what she had written on the blackboard. She wanted answers, and she would have answers, but first, she _really_ wanted a shower. The cleansing charms the nurses used worked well, but nothing could replace the feel of a good hot shower.

 _At least there won't be any chaos in the head's suite._ Hermione smiled as she approached the large wooden door. _A nice quiet-_ "Gah!" Hermione jumped back in surprise as the suits of armor on either side of the door blocked her way with drawn swords.

"Sorry Miss, but we need the password." Said the suit on the left.

Hermione's jaw dropped. "Since when do suits of armor talk?" She asked incredulously.

"Since your boyfriend woke us up." Replied the one on the right.

"W-woke you up?" Hermione began processing the new information. "And he's not my boyfriend, he's my fiance."

"Oh, congratulations!" Said Lefty.

"Thank you." Hermione beamed as she glanced at the ring on her left hand. A sapphire set in platinum with a smaller emerald on either side. "Not to change the subject, but you said Harry 'woke' you?"

"Yes, quite glad he did actually, we'd been asleep for far too long." Righty told her.

"Harry, what did you do?" Hermione sighed.

"Correct." The suit on the left said as they both withdrew their swords. "Have a nice day Miss."

"Wha- 'Harry, what did you do?' is the password?" Hermione was going to have to add a trip to the infirmary for a headache relief potion to her to do list.

"Yes Miss. The young Master set it just this morning. He said it would be one of the first things you said." Lefty informed her. Hermione's mouth worked up and down but no sound came out. "Oh, and he left a message for you!" The armor clanked as it rooted around in it's helmet and then handed her a folded piece of parchment.

"Thank you." Hermione replied while unfolding the parchment and absently nodded to Righty when he opened the door.

"You're welcome Miss."

The doors soft click as it closed behind Hermione barely registered, she was too engrossed with Harry's letter.

 _Mione,_

 _I'm sorry I'm not there to greet you, but by the time I got your letter saying you were being released today I had already promised the kids that I would take them to the zoo. We should be back by four._

 _I visited Dumbledore yesterday, he's doing well. He's adjusted well to the prosthetics and says to tell you hello._

Hermione winced, remembering why the Leader of the Light had gotten those prosthetics. When Harry had gotten the vision of Sirius being tortured they had recognized Voldemort's trap for what it was, and had planned accordingly.

Everything had been going well until the Order had shown up to "rescue" them. Sirius and Moody had both died. Ron was still in the long term ward, just down the hall from Neville's parents. Ginny blamed Harry and Hermione for her brothers injuries and wouldn't speak to them anymore. None of the other Weasleys blamed them, but losing Ginny's friendship on top of the loss of Ron and Sirius had hurt. During Dumbledore's fight with Voldemort, Bellatrix had sent a ribbon cutter at the Headmaster from behind, taking both the old man's legs off just below the knee.

In the end Harry had hit Voldemort with an overpowered obliviate and handed him over to the Aurors. They had won, but the price had been high.

Hermione gave herself a shake to banish the memories and continued reading.

 _Umm… I'm sure you've noticed some… "differences" since last year, I'll explain everything later. I promise. I would have told you sooner but the Healers said not to write anything that would cause stress or excitement because it would prolong your recovery time._

 _Love,_

 _Your Harry_

 _P.S._

 _Don't let Spot out._

 _HJP_

 _P.P.S._

 _Neville and Luna are staying with us. Technically Neville is rooming with me and Luna is in with you. I asked Dobby to put your stuff in my room as yours is occupied by Neville and Luna._

 _HJP_

"Not helpful Harry." Hermione muttered under her breath and added two more questions to her list.

7) Why are Neville and Luna rooming with us?

8) How did Harry "Wake" the suits of armor?

Note: Learn their names, if they have them.

"Who and what is Spot?" With a sigh Hermione set her bag and Dobby's basket down on a table by the door and kicked her shoes off. "I suppose I'll find out sooner or later." She folded the letter up and putting it in her bag before heading to the Head Boy's room. Hermione found her belongings all neatly unpacked in the drawers and closet. Her books and school supplies were stored on shelves. Crookshanks was napping in a pool of sunlight spilling in from the window.

"Hello Crooks! Did you miss me?" Hermione asked the orange furred terror that was her familiar.

"Meow." Crooks stood with a slow, languid, full body stretch before pacing over to his human and winding between her feet.

Hermione bent down and picked him up. "Ugh… You're heavy, has Harry been feeding you under the table again?" She nuzzled into the soft fur, sighing in contentment. Crookshanks purred when her fingers scritched his ears.

"Hoot!" Harry's owl called from her perch beside the window.

"Hello Hedwig, I'm happy to see you too girl." A few steps brought Hermione to the window and she gave the snowy owl a good petting also, she was rewarded by the owls soft huffing sounds.

After both familiars had deemed her attentions sufficient Hermione finally was able to get in the shower. For one long, glorious hour she stood under the hot water completely undisturbed. Properly scrubbed Hermione stepped out of the bathroom and found that Dobby (she assumed it was Dobby) had taken her old clothes and laid out a fresh set of robes. Clean and dressed and she gave both familiars treats and headed out into the common area.

The first thing Hermione saw was the back half of a green and orange dragon kitten with black highlights hanging out of her food basket. (How Harry had made black into a neon color was anybody's guess.) The second thing she saw was that a russet colored furry manta ray was endeavoring to assist the kitten. It was about the size of a dinner plate, with a long prehensile tail. The head was vaguely bat shaped and it had a pair of crumpled horns just behind it's ears. Hold up, crumpled horns?

Yes, yes those were definitely crumpled horns. "Dear sweet Merlin, she did it, She actually found a snorkack." Hermione whispered in awe. Her voice caused the snorkack to to raise up in a snake like manner, allowing her to see its under side. From this angle it looked very much like a cobra with it's hood flared, only it was all hood. The manta-ray-cobra-snorkack-thing gave a small chirp and used it's very agile tail to tug at the kittens back paw. The sudden distraction caused the kitten to jerk and smack it's head on the baskets lid. It emitted a string of growls and hisses that sounded remarkably like someone cursing.

"I heard that." Hermione told it sharply. Startled the kitten fell all the way into the basket and after a moment of scrambling the front half of the kitten popped out of the basket, a piece of bacon hung from it's mouth. "Come on, out of there. You know, you really shouldn't be eating that. It can't be good for you." After a momentary pause in which both critters looked at her with pleading eyes Hermione sighed and gave in. "I suppose one won't hurt." The kitten bit down on the bacon sharply, neatly cutting the strip of meat in half. The snorkack dove for the half that fell as the kitten obediently climbed out of the basket with it's half of the prize.

"I wonder which one of you is Spot?" They ignored her question in favor of the treat in front of them. "Oh, well I suppose it doesn't matter. I have no intention of turning either of you two hellions loose on the school." She lifted the lid of the basket, as expected the inside looked like a war zone. What had those poor sandwiches ever done to deserve such treatment? Hermione's eyebrows rose as she noticed that the carrot sticks she had been planning to munch on later were gone. "Which one of you is the omnivore?" Again there was no answer, but the kitten did rub against her ankle before the two thieves scampered off towards Luna and Neville's room.

With more questions than answers Hermione made her way down to the great hall. On the way she encountered quite a few students. A fair number of them gave her friendly greetings and inquiries as to her health. Hermione received a few glares and hostile mutterings but other than taking brief note of their identities she ignored the naysayers. The long walk gave Hermione the opportunity to study her fellow students. As she had observed before none of the younger years wore any house colors. It seemed that only those in fifth thru seventh year were in house colors. And many of them were in the wrong House color. Since when were Crabbe and Goyle Hufflepuffs? Were they the subversions Malfoy had been babbling about?

 _Today just gets weirder and weirder._ Hermione thought as she passed a trio of second years who were arguing with a suit of armor about which edition of Dungeons and Dragons was better.

One eternity later she eventually made it to the great hall. Noticing that the house tables had been replaced by a assortment of smaller tables in many shapes and sizes didn't phase her in the slightest. At this point it barely even pinged on her weird-shit-o-meter. Six years of being around Harry could do that to a person.

Lunch was just beginning and there weren't many students in the hall yet, so Hermione was able to commandeer one of the smaller tables for herself. As soon as she sat a variety of dishes appeared in front of her. Hermione didn't pay much attention to what she had chosen; she was far more interested in the going ons around her.

Students from all house and years were mixing together as they sat down for the meal, even the Slytherins were socializing outside of the silver and green. The head table was gone as well, Hermione noticed when Professor Babbling and Professor Flitwick sat down a few tables away from her.

Hermione knew Harry wouldn't be back until around four, but she had thought she would have seen Neville or Luna by now. Lunch had come and gone but she didn't see either of her friends come in. However she did notice Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass giving her covert looks from a few tables away. When they noticed her looking at them Greengrass bowed her head in acknowledgment and Zabini gave her a seated bow. _Well that answers the who part of which Slytherins Harry has subverted. Even in fifth year neither of them really bothered much with being nasty. I guess it's not surprising that they would be the ones Harry managed to convert, but it still doesn't answer why or how._ Just as Hermione was contemplating going over to their table a fifth year prefect in Ravenclaw robes hurried up to her.

"What can I do for you Gerald?" Hermione asked politely.

"Mcgonagall said to tell you that meeting has been moved from tomorrow night to as soon as Harry gets back." The young raven delivered the message in a rush and then darted off to another table where two Ravenclaw prefects sat.

"Prefect's meeting, of course. That should have been obvious." Hermione groaned. At least one her many questions had been answered. Hermione turned her attention back to the two Slytherins but they were gone. With a huff of frustration Hermione made her way out of the Great Hall. Several times she tried to get answers from various students and staff. The students didn't know anymore than she did and the staff all managed to avoid her. It was frustrating to say the least.

Back in the Room of Requirement Hermione reviewed her lists. She poured over what she knew but couldn't make heads or tails of it. She gave up a little after two and decided to go back to her and Harry's room to take a nap. Harry would be back soon enough and then there was the prefects meeting. She would have her answers, one way or another.

Hermione stopped in front of the two suits of armor guarding the door. "Pardon, but it occurred to me that I hadn't asked your names, quite rude of me I know, and I do apologize."

"Quite all right Miss. As gentlemen we should have initiated introductions. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Sir Bedlam of Snafu!" Said the suit formerly known as Lefty.

"I am Sir Ataxia of Fubar! At your service Miss!" Said the tin can on the right.

"I am Hermione Granger, a pleasure to meet you." Hermione smiled and gave a small curtsy.

"The pleasure is ours Miss." Both suits bowed.

"Your names are quite...interesting." Hermione was as diplomatic as possible.

"Miss Lovegood gave them to us." Said Sir Ataxia proudly.

 _I should have known._ Hermione made a mental note to never let Luna name anything ever again. "It's been quite lovely chatting with you but I'm afraid this mornings exertions have exhausted me. I do believe a nap is in order." Hermione wondered if this was how Alice felt chasing after the White Rabbit.

"If it not an emergency we shan't disturb you!" Sir Bedlam promised.

"Thank you." Hermione smothered a yawn, she was more tired than she had thought.

Soon Hermione was curled under the covers and snuggled up to Crookshanks. Hedwig glided over and settled on the headrest. A quiet meow followed by an inquiring chirp came from the doorway. "Fine, you can stay. Just be-" a large yawn interrupted her sentence "-quiet." With that the picnic basket raiders clambered up the bed clothes and settled near an annoyed Crookshanks. Shortly thereafter one human and four critters dozed off peacefully.

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"Mione" Hermione swatted at the annoying hand shaking her, "Mione Love, time to wake up." Harry gently shook her shoulder again.

"Harry, go 'way. Tired." Hermione rolled over with the offending arm firmly snuggled against her chest.

"Come on love, we have a meeting with Mcgonagall soon." Harry coaxed as he tried to keep his balance.

"Murgle…" Hermione whimpered.

"That's not a word Sweet." Harry's amusement was obvious.

"Haarrryyy…" Mid whine awareness finally crept into Hermione's mind and her eyes flew open. She sat up so fast she nearly knocked Harry over. "Harry!" She flung herself into his his arms and he pulled her in for a kiss.

"I missed you." Harry whispered in her ear as Hermione buried her face in his neck. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. As wonderful as your letters were they weren't you." Hermione pulled back and smiled as she stared into his familiar green eyes. "To hell with the meeting! Stay here with me!"

Harry chuckled as he pulled his lady love to her feet, "Such language Miss Granger, and advocating the dereliction of our duties, whatever shall we do with you?" He kissed her again to stop her pout.

"It's your fault. You've infected me with your rebellious nature." Hermione teased. "I used to be such a good girl!"

Harry let loose an evil laugh, "Bwahahaha! I've corrupted another innocent soul! The world shall soon be mine!"

Hermione smiled indulgently. "We shall be firm but benevolent dictators."

Harry chuckled, "Speaking of… I was told quite firmly by the Headmistress herself that attendance to today's meeting is mandatory. I quote, 'You shall attend or else, Mister Potter.' I wasn't brave enough to ask what the 'or else' was."

Hermione gave a dramatic sigh, "If we must." She held her pout for a few seconds before breaking into a grin and wrapping herself around Harry again. "So good to see you." After another searing kiss they reluctantly pulled away. "I suppose we should get going. I'm not brave enough to find out what the 'or else' is either."

Harry put a restraining hand on her arm "Before we go, I have something for you." He gave a shy smile, "Well two somethings. This is the first." Harry pulled out a small jewelry box.

Hermione gasped as she opened it, nestled inside was an exquisitely carved jade pendant, it depicted the Tree of Life.

"I had it enchanted with several protective wards and it's spelled to act as an emergency portkey." Harry removed the pendent from its box and fastened it around Hermione's neck.

"It's lovely." Hermione held it reverently.

Dobby popped in, "It's time?" Harry nodded and Dobby smiled as he popped out.

"What…?" Hermione fell silent when Harry laid a finger on her lips.

"You'll see." Harry's eyes were alight with mischief.

Just as Hermione was about to burst with curiosity Dobby came back holding a small stone basin. He put it on the bedside table. Grinning, Harry tapped the edge of the bowl with his wand. A ghostly image of a building appeared above it, another tap enlarged it.

"I'm rebuilding Potter Manor." The ancestral home of the Potters had been destroyed early in the first war with Voldemort. Another series of taps gave them a cross section view of the southern wing. It was a library. The entire wing was a library. "The sub levels are a series of work rooms and labs." Harry waited expectantly, he didn't have to wait long.

"For me? You're doing this for me?" Hermione breathed in disbelief. She couldn't begin to imagine how much such a project would cost.

"Yes."

Hermione kissed him again. "I love you." Dobby had been right, it was a surprise she liked very much.

"I love you too." Harry smiled at her and hand in hand they walked out to the common area. Taking just enough time for Hermione to put her shoes on and grab her bag they headed to the door.

Hermione sighed when she saw Crookshanks' back end sticking out of the picnic basket. "Bad cat!" Crooks pulled his head out and looked at his Human. He finished off the bacon slice in his mouth in two bites while batting his paw at something inside the basket.

"Hoot?" Hedwig popped up out of the basket, blinking in the light, bits of bacon clinging to her feathers.

"I give up." Deciding that bacon pilfering was the least of her problems, Hermione turned the door handle and ignored Harry's laughter. "It's not that funny." She humphed. "And don't think I've forgotten that you promised to explain the anarchy you've managed to cause." Hermione jabbed her finger into Harry's chest.

"All shall be revealed." Harry assured her.

"It had better be." Hermione grumbled.

Crookshanks and Hedwig looked at each other and shrugged before returning to their feast. Sometimes their Humans were so weird.

On the sixth floor the two lovers went up a secret staircase that would bring them just a few halls away from the staff meeting room where the prefect meetings were held.

Hermione decided to try and pry a few answers out of her close lipped betrothed. "Do you have any idea why Su-Simon's aunt wants to meet with us?"

"I saw her in Hogsmeade today when we brought the kids back, she wanted to know if we would be willing to appear at the Auror Academy as guest speakers for a lecture on fighting dark wizards. Luna and Neville were invited too. I told her we would be there if that's okay with you?"

"That's fine. It sounds quite interesting." Hermione stopped on the landing at an apparent dead end. She twisted a section of the banister and an archway appeared, allowing them to continue their ascent. Moments later they emerged on the second floor.

"Why are Luna and Neville rooming with us? I don't mind of course, but it is unusual." Hermione asked as they dodged around a knot of first and second years.

"Because they can?" Harry hadn't really thought about it. "If Mcgonagall had a problem with it I'm sure she'd have said something by now."

"I suppose so." Hermione shrugged. "Really though it will be nice having them there." They came to an abrupt halt as a trio of dragon kittens came careening down the hall with Mrs. Norris in hot pursuit.

"You know," Harry mused, watching the chase progress down the corridor and around another corner, "I kinda feel sorry for her."

"Filch must be having fits!" Hermione giggled as they reached their destination. They were the second to last arrival. A smug looking Luna was the last.

Hermione frowned as she noted several of the staff were missing. She had already known that Snape was MIA, so no surprise there. But Professors Vector, Sprout, and whoever was supposed to be the DADA teacher were missing as well.

All the prefects were present. Draco had returned from the Forbidden Forest, but he was twitchy and kept looking over his shoulder. Simon and Hannah were both there. That was odd, hadn't Ernie Macmillan been the Puffs seventh year male prefect? One more question to look into. Neville had been given the prefects badge to replace Harry, and Luna…

"Why is Luna in Gryffindor robes and why is she in the seat for the _seventh_ year girls prefect?" Hermione whispered to Harry, returning the blondes happy wave with a warm smile.

"Long story short, she took the sixth year exams on our first day back and the Hat resorted her. Mcgonagall gave her your badge because… well can you really see Parvati or Lavender with it?" Harry whispered back.

Hermione shuddered, "No. I suppose not, and both Sophie and Fay are such wallflowers they would be ignored entirely."

"That's what Mcgonagall thought too." Harry shifted so that his arm was around Hermione's waist rather than across her shoulder.

"Quiet please!" Mcgonagall called. "We have a great deal to go over before dinner, so let's get through this as quickly as possible. First, I would like to welcome our Head Girl, Miss Granger, back." The Headmistress paused for several cheers and polite applause, even from the Slytherins. "Now, there has been quite a bit of chaos this year and since Mister Potter is at the heart of it he shall explain the events that have led up to today. If you would Mister Potter?" Mcgonagall folded her hands in front of her and sat, looking at Harry expectantly.

Harry gave Hermione a brief one armed hug and stood up. Hermione leaned forward in excitement, she was finally going to get some answers!

Harry cleared his throat nervously and began his tale, (Suitably edited so that certain Significant Others would not maim, spindle or mutilate certain soon to be husbands.) "Well, I guess it all started when Hermione left with her parents for their vacation in France…."

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Hermione and her parents had arranged a joint birthday bash for both himself and Neville. It had started with an early brunch at Mr. Gangers club house, and from there they had gone to an amusement park where Harry, Neville and Luna all fell in love with the roller coasters. A dragon themed ride had been their favorite. After dinner at Zuki's, an upscale Japanese steak house, Mrs. Granger had surprised the group with tickets to Cats! the musical. The day had ended with both Harry and Neville getting some very enthusiastic good night kisses.

Best. Birthday. Ever!

The next day Harry had taken Hermione out for dinner and a movie. While they were sitting in Fortescue's for an end of date treat Harry had gathered his courage and did the scariest thing he had ever done. He got down on one knee and proposed.

Harry still hadn't managed to wipe the silly grin off his face the next day when he had kissed Hermione goodbye for her annual trip with her parents. It hadn't taken much more than an hour after the Grangers had driven off for Harry to become bored. Harry sent Neville a letter via Hedwig and found that his friend was in the same predicament, as Luna had gone off with her father on their yearly Snorkack Hunt. Dobby was also at loose ends, Hogwarts had been closed for the summer while much needed maintenance was done and Winky had gone to visit some of her relatives.

Twenty minutes later the three boys were roaming the streets of London, looking for something to do. (Dobby had glamoured himself to look like a teen-aged boy) After two movies, an arcade and more pizza than was healthy, Neville pointed out a sign on a dilapidated old building.

Vander's Auction House

Hours: 8 am to 10 pm

250 pound entry fee. (non-refundable)

So the boys had paid their money and took their chances. They had a great deal of fun bidding on 'Mystery' lots, boxes and trunks that held unknown assortments of clothes, trinkets and bric a brac. In total they walked away the proud owners of seven Mystery boxes. As it was getting rather late the three had decided to put looking at the contents of their boxes off until the next day.

That decision stood until about three seconds after they got the boxes up to Neville's room at Longbottom Hall. With great glee the three man children tore into the boxes, eager to see their prizes. As expected most of it was junk. They found a few treasures. Dobby found a good deal of socks from the previous century, Neville found a gardeners journal and a music box he wanted to give to his Gran. Harry found a sketchbook filled with pictures of ships at sea and marine life and a jade pendent he thought Hermione would like. (The crowning jewel in their findings was a box filled with naughty magazines from the eighteen hundreds. All three vowed that the girls would never learn of these.)

The next day after Neville's Gran chased the three out of the house, Neville proposed going to the magical auction house in Knockturn Alley. After a several hour detour to the amusement park the Grangers had taken them to, the boys once again found themselves paying a hefty non-refundable entry fee and bidding on Mystery boxes.

After a brief (read: five hour) detour to a likely looking tavern, they ended up taking home eleven boxes. Dowager Longbottom caught the three "sneaking" in the back door shortly after two am. (If you call tripping over each other and crashing into the hall table while loudly cursing at each other for making noise sneaking, then yes, they were sneaking.) Rather than yell at the three drunken men she simply rolled her eyes and had Nobby, the family elf, put them to bed. (They really hadn't wanted the girls to hear about that, but figured that neither Nobby nor Neville's Gran would keep it a secret. Unless of course they decided to use it as blackmail material.

Gran had decided to teach the three a lesson by withholding the hangover potions, so it wasn't until nearly one in the afternoon that our boys got around to examining their mystery boxes. Once more they contained ninety percent junk, but oh the treasures they did find! Harry found a set of Alchemy books and a sword and shield enchanted to teach the user how use them. Dobby found more socks and an ever filling paint set he wanted to give to Winky. (After sobering up the summer after fifth year Winky had discovered that she quite enjoyed being a free elf and that she was quite talented as an artist. Hermione had managed to wake an interest in runes and arithmancy within the newly reformed elf as well.) Neville found a first edition, hand drawn copy of Fantastical Magical Plants: Where to find them and how to grow them. This was accompanied by a first edition hand drawn copy of Fantastical Magical Beasts: Where to find them and how to keep them. There was also an assortment of rare potions, runes, arithmancy and spellcrafting books that all three agreed would look quite good on Winky, Luna and Hermione's bookshelves. Last, but not least, they found a set of four goblets engraved with the emblems and personal coats of arms of the four Founders. These they decided to donate to Hogwarts. (Not only did their 'sensual art' collection triple, it now spanned five centuries and most of them moved. Again they vowed the girls would never learn of this.)

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"Lovely Potter, truly, but do you think you could get to the point sometime soon?" Malfoy sneered. As the meeting had progressed Draco had regained some of his aplomb and seemed bent on making up for his earlier lack thereof.

"Cork it Malfoy." Neville shot back, "The story does have relevance to what's been happening."

Malfoy opened his mouth to return fire but Mcgonagall cut him off. "I do assure you Mister Malfoy, the background information makes understanding what happens next much easier." Malfoy snapped his mouth shut with an audible click and glowered at his rival. "Please continue Mister Potter."

"Right, so for the next couple of weeks…

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After their fifth visit to the amusement park and having seen all the movies in the local theaters twice, the three amigos were bored again. After four days of having them under foot Gran's patience snapped. So the boys headed out for points unknown with a wizarding tent and all the lovely treasures they had gotten from their mystery boxes. They camped out in a random forest building fires, climbing trees, exploring, and swimming in the river. They also read the alchemy books and made their very first batch of quick silver.

Soon though they headed back to civilization, the girls were due back any day and they didn't want to miss it. Winky was the first to return, and Dobby took his leave. In order to stay out of Grans way Harry and Neville took turns with the teaching sword and shield. By the time they got the news that Hermione was under quarantine in St. Mungo's they had both gotten pretty good and could spar with non enchanted weapons without killing themselves.

After receiving the Floo call from St. Mungo's Harry occupied himself with trying to get in to see Hermione. Neville moped about the manor for a day or two until Luna came home with her new pet. His name was Spot.

Two days before term was to start Harry and Neville both received letters from the Headmistress requesting that they meet with her at their earliest convenience. They both beat the mail owls back to the castle. Part of the summers scheduled maintenance was a strengthening of the wards, but without Dumbledore they lacked a great deal of the power needed to rejuvenate the protective wards.

Harry and Neville both eagerly volunteered. It turned out to be an incredibly simple process, and not nearly as exciting as they had hoped. It consisted of standing with the professors in a ritual circle around the Wardstone and channeling power into the wards. They left the Wardstone chamber drained and exhausted, but the schools wards were fully charged. Harry and Neville spent the night in the Hospital wing under Madam Pomfrey's watchful eye. They were both released the next day with clean bills of health.

That afternoon Harry had an Idea!. He grabbed the quicksilver he had made with Neville and Dobby and apperated back to the school. Harry tried to find the Headmistress, but she and Flitwick were in a meeting with the Board of Governors. Figuring it was easier to ask forgiveness then try to track down someone who could give permission, Harry made his way through the dungeons to the lowest levels where the Wardstone was kept. Very carefully Harry used a fine tipped paint brush to trace the quicksilver over the runes carved into the massive stone.

Once every rune had been liberally coated with the alchemical substance Harry very carefully began to channel power directly into the Wardstone, bypassing the ritual circle entirely. This was dangerous, if he channeled to much power too quickly he could easily cause a power feed back and fry himself to a crisp. Fortunately there was no minimum speed for channeling power, so Harry took his own sweet time. Eventually he fell into a sort of trance as he monitored and regulated the flow of power.

Harry woke in the hospital wing back in his old bed again. He was exhausted, so he did what any reasonable wizard would do. Harry sat up and located his glasses and wand before getting out of bed and finding his clothes. He had just pulled his shirt over his head when Mcgonagall came in and began simultaneously berating him for being a fool and praising him for the great service he had done to the school. The Headmistress then proceeded to assist Madam Pomfrey in forcing Harry back into bed and pouring a host of potions down his throat.

The next morning Pomfrey roused him two hours before the train was to leave Kings Cross station. After a quick breakfast and a quicker shower Harry apparated to the station to perform his duties as as Head Boy. Yawning, Harry did a quick inspection of the train and spoke briefly with the driver. Soon the students started arriving and filling compartments. Occasionally Harry would pop through the barrier to make sure all the muggleborn first years made it through.

Neville and Luna had arrived not too long after Harry had and they made themselves useful by getting the first and second years settled. They ended up finding three lost pets and stopping two duels along the way.

The train ride went smoothly and soon they arrived in Hogsmeade station. The problems didn't start until just after Hagrid took the first years. Everyone had already noticed that no one had any house colors on their robes, but they just figured it was a prank and the professors would fix it.

The professors didn't fix it.

Harry got his first look at the chaos, ahem, the changes, yes changes, his last minute additions to the wards had caused. Brightly colored banners hung from the parapets, the gargoyles and statues had a life like quality to them, and he couldn't be sure but it looked like it was bigger. Then he went inside. Everything was… brighter, more alive. The portrait frames were bright and polished, the suits of armor were moving and talking, tapestries and banners were hanging everywhere. All in all Harry thought it much improved.

The great hall had changed quite a bit too, the long house tables were gone, replaced by many smaller tables. Rather than house banners the walls were lined with tapestries of great deeds performed in the school's history. Much to Harry's embarrassment a majority of his own exploits were displayed among them. The Troll, his fight with Quirrelmort, the Basilisk and Tom Riddle. The events in the graveyard, the Department of Mysteries, all of the things that haunted his nightmares. It was a very dazed Man-Who-Won that sat down to the welcoming feast that year.

Harry pulled himself out of his memories when Flitwick brought the first years in and instead of his usual song all Hat said was "No."

All entreaties and inquiries were met with stony silence until one of the firsties walked up and asked "Why?"

Hat turned to the little boy and smiled. "I will no longer divide that which was meant to be whole. No longer will I watch the students who pass through these halls spill each others blood over Light and Dark, Pure and Mud. No longer will I facilitate hatred and rivalry. Children should be children, not soldiers." The hat gave pointed looks to Harry and Malfoy.

Harry stood and approached the Hat. "I agree with you Hat, but there are some things to be said for the houses. They teach team play and cooperation, they give a sense of belonging."

"Yes," Added Lisa Turpin, who also stood, though stayed at her table. "The Houses provide a much needed support network, especially during OWLS and NEWTS."

"I agree." Blaise Zabini stood. "The inter house competition drives us to be better, to be more."

Susan Bones got her feet. "Tradition does have it's place. To simply do away with it is as bad as blindly following it. Surely we can find a middle ground, some kind of compromise."

A third year girl whose name Harry couldn't remember stood up. "I don't think it's fair that when we are eleven years old we are divided and told that _this_ is what we are and who we will always be. People grow, we change. I'm just sayin." Red faced she sat down quickly.

"Hmmm…" The hat took on a thoughtful look. "True, true, each of you spoke truth. What to do, what to do…?" For what must have been the longest minute in history the hat sat and thought. "Very well!" The whole room started as Hat's voice boomed out. "From now on I will sort the fifth years. First through fourth will learn how to get along with each other despite differences and the upper years shall be sorted into houses to promote a sense of friendly rivalry. A certain amount of competition is healthy after all. So, children, take your seats. Filius, please call the first seventh year forward, I will start with them and work my way down. As Miss Tamwood pointed out people do change as they grow."

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"We were all there Potter, we know what happened." Malfoy interrupted again.

"Hermione wasn't." Harry pointed out.

"True, and she looks like she's going to start maiming people if she doesn't get answers soon." Simon observed.

Hermione contrived to look innocent with a 'who, me?' expression. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Hermione replied primly.

"I suppose we should get Miss Granger's Sorting out of the way now, Dinner announcements will be enough of a fiasco as it is." Mcgonagall produced the sorting hat and placed it on Hermione's head.

"Hello again my dear. Once again it seems you are split right down the middle for Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Though this time you do seem to have developed some distinctly Slytherin and Hufflepuff tendencies. So once again I will ask you, which house do think you would be best suited to?"

"I'd like to remain a Gryffindor please." Hermione told the hat.

"You're sure?"

"Quite." Hermione replied firmly.

"I hadn't thought it would go any differently but I did have to check you know, very well GRYFFINDOR!" The hat called out.

"Thank you." Said Hermione as Mcgonagall lifted the living artifact off her head. "Luna, have you seen these books yet?"

"No." The blonde pouted. "They said I had to wait until you got back." Luna's face brightened, "But you're here now! Yeay! We get the pretties!"

"We _do_ get the pretties, don't we Harry?" Hermione asked sweetly.

Winky smiled. "You's hands over the pretties and no one gets hurt."

Harry, Neville and Dobby all went pale and flashed each other panicked looks.

Fortunately the Headmistress intervened before things turned ugly. "Ladies! You may play with your new toys later." The three girls pouted but settled down. "Mister Potter, please continue."

"R-right. Ummm… We all got sorted, right. So since I had used all the quicksilver and we had planned to use it for another project…."

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Harry, Neville and Dobby spent the majority of that night in the room of requirement making more quicksilver. This time they made a triple batch.

The next day they emerged from the Room of Requirement to find chaos throughout the school. Professor Snape had disappeared sometime during the night. There was no note, and no forwarding address. His rooms and office were empty, as if he had never existed. Classes were canceled for the day as the staff conducted a thorough search of the castle and grounds. When that proved fruitless Mcgonagall had called the Aurors to report the disappearance.

The students were left to their own devices and it ended about like one would think it would. Total anarchy. Harry rallied the prefects and after several small skirmishes they managed to bring things down to the level of controlled chaos.

Things settled after the Aurors left and class schedules were passed out at dinner. Though things became rather unsettled again when the students discovered that they had twice as many classes as they normally did. Some of those classes weren't even courses taught at Hogwarts. Harry's own schedule showed that he was in Runes at eight, Arithmancy at nine, followed by Alchemy at ten and Warding at eleven. Harry had an hours break for lunch and then he had Potions at one. At two he was due in for a double class of Cosmology. After dinner he had an hour scheduled as a "tutoring supervisor". Whatever that was. And that was just his Monday/Wednesday Schedule. On Tuesday/Thursday he had Combat, Technomancy, Charms, and Transfiguration. Friday he had double Herbology, double Defense and General Studies.

Mcgonagall had quickly called for a meeting with the school governors.

Classes were canceled the next day as well.

After an incident in which some first years had managed to get themselves stuck to underside of a staircase, Mcgonagall had put Harry, Dobby and Neville in charge of keeping the firsties occupied. All eighty three of them. The Headmistress hoped that the eleven year old terrors and the three chaos magnets woulds keep each other out of trouble. It worked, sort of. It kept them from causing _her_ trouble, but there were several managers at a multitude of muggle establishments that would beg to differ.

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Hermione looked at Mcgonagall with horror in her eyes. "You-you put _Neville, Dobby_ and _Harry_ in charge of first years?!"

The Headmistress looked somewhat abashed. "In hindsight it was not my wisest decision ever, but it does seem to have worked out rather well.

Hermione sighed, she had been right, it was one of _those_ days. "At least you didn't put Luna in charge of them."

"Nope! Winky and I are in charge of the second years!" Luna said happily.

Hermione whimpered.

/^\ /^\

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In their pursuit of keeping the firsties occupied Harry had the Idea! that they could make interactive toys for the pint sized terrors out of quicksilver infused clay. So the three amigos retreated to the Room of Requirement to set about making their toys. Harry and Neville couldn't decide between toy cats and toy dragons so Dobby suggested that they make both. Harry and Neville thought this was a brilliant idea and began crafting cats with dragon wings, spiney ridge plates and longer than normal fangs. Dobby had only meant that they should use half the clay to make cats and the other half to make dragons, but this worked too.

Earlier in the day the boys had taken their charges out paint-balling and so by the time they were finished crafting the toys they were more than ready for bed. Dobby popped back to wherever he went, but Harry and Neville were both to lazy to go back to their rooms. Instead they crashed out right there in the ROR.

Harry awoke to a cacophony of meows. Slowly, he opened his eyes. The Room was awash in bright neon color. Everywhere he looked there was a rainbow of fur. Harry carefully poked at Neville until the snoring lump woke grumpily. Neville got about three words into cursing his friend out when he noticed their audience.

"Harry, didn't we only make twenty of them?"

"Yeah."

"There's hundreds of them."

"Yeah."

"The girls are gonna kill us aren't they?"

"Yeah."

"Mcgonagall's gonna kill us isn't she?"

"Maybe."

"Did we create life?"

"Yeah, I think we did."

"Do you think maybe it's 'cause we didn't scrap the project and start over when you cut yourself and bled into the clay?

"That or the rune cluster we were iffy on."

"What time is it?"

"Don't know."

"Harry."

"Yeah?"

"They look hungry."

"Maybe if we open the door and let them out they won't eat us?" Harry suggested hopefully.

"Good idea." Neville eyed the sea of multicolored moving fur and fangs. "Who's gonna go open the door?"

"Umm…. you?"

"No."

"Together?"

"Right. Together then."

Being careful not to step on the little creatures they had inadvertently created, Harry and Neville made their way to the door. Once the door was opened there was a stampede. A river of neon fur streamed past them out into the hallway. Most were running, some were flying, others were attempting to fly. One of the almost-flying fuzz balls had the bad luck to be knocked down and trampled by his non-flying fellows. It mewed pitifully until Neville reached into the Horde and fished the poor little thing out. It's left wing was torn and its front paw was bent awkwardly.

"It's ok little guy, Madam Pomfrey will fix you up better than new." Neville gently adjusted his grip so he wasn't aggravating the injuries. "She's fixed me and Harry plenty of times."

Soon the Room was empty and the two Gryffindors made their way to the hospital wing.

"Do either of you know what time it is?" Madam Pomfrey demanded when they barged through the doors.

"No Ma'am!" Harry and Neville chorused as they slid to a stop.

"We're sorry Madam Pomfrey but he's bleeding a lot and he's gone unconscious!" Neville panted with worry, thrusting the dragon kitten at her.

"What on earth… never mind. Lay him on that bed over there." Poppy decided to save the questions for later. The little critter was clearly in bad shape and wouldn't make it if she didn't do something quickly. A quick diagnosis spell showed her the problem. "He's torn a blood vessel, and his fore leg is broken. He'll be fine, you got the poor thing here in time. " The mediwitch directed Harry to bring several different potions from a cabinet and began casting healing spells. Soon the dragon kitten's wing had been mended and it's paw was straight and whole once more.

"He'll need care for several days, no flying, running or rough play until after I check up on him. Now, you will tell me what he is, how you came to have him, and why you are gallivanting around in the middle of the night. It's three in the morning for Merlin's sake!" Poppy glared at the two Seventh years. She hid a smirk as the two looked down and blushed, drawing patterns on the floor with their toes. Seventeen years old and a single glare _still_ folded them like a house of cards.

The two budding Alchemists proceeded to tell the Healer about their… inadvertent creations.

"Oh sweet Morgana, help me!" Poppy beseeched the heavens. "There are rules and regulations about creating new species'! You aren't even properly licensed!" The Healer scolded, then she sighed. "I suppose it's too late now. I don't suppose you got an accurate count of them before they scattered?"

"Ummm… several hundred?" Harry offered.

"Oh dear." Another sigh. "Very well. I will speak to the Headmistress in the morning. The whole thing was unintended so there shouldn't be too much trouble as long as you get the proper forms filled out and filed. Though I warn you, the filing fee's are horrendous. You'll need to document everything you did as best you can. Pensive memories of the event would be sufficient. Oh, and you'll need to think up a name for them." Poppy smiled at them, she loved all the students she cared for, but these two held a special place in her heart. "And congratulations. Creating alchemical golems takes a great deal of skill. Even if their coming life was accidental, you still did very well." The boys blushed again and mumbled their thanks.

Poppy wrapped the sleeping dragon kitten in a blanket and handed him to Neville. "See that he gets plenty of proteins and keep him hydrated. Try to keep him quiet for the next day or so. If there are any problems bring him right back. Otherwise I will see him in three days."

"Thank you Madam Pomfrey." Neville said as he cuddled the sleeping dragon kitten close. Harry and Neville said goodnight to the healer and made their way back to the Heads Suite.

Neville put the dragon kitten down on the couch, "You need a name."

"You could call him Rum Tum Tugger, or maybe Growl Tiger?"

"Hmmm… I was thinking Mistoffelees."

"Careful, that might prove prophetic." Harry cautioned with a smile.

Spot sniffed at the still sleeping newcomer. Apparently the newly named Mistoffelees passed the test because Spot settled next to him protectively.

The sandy haired wizard waved the concern away. "I have accepted that as long as I am friends with you I am going to be smack in the middle of whatever chaos is brewing." Neville gave Harry a crooked grin. "It's more fun that way."

Harry returned the grin, "Glad to hear it. Night Nev."

"Night Harry."

/^\ /^\

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x

"Wait," Hermione held out her hand in a stop gesture. "You're telling me that you _created life_ because you: A) Ignored basic safety procedures and continued an experiment with contaminated materials, B) Used a rune cluster you were unsure of and C) Fell asleep with said contaminated materials with suspect rune work in the one room in the castle that could truly be called it's soul _after_ you had woken said castle to a state of semi-sentience?" Hermione managed to keep her voice fairly even, she hadn't even shouted. Yet.

"Ummm…yessss…?" Harry ventured, hoping that the presence of so many witnesses would keep her from killing him.

"Right. Thank you for the clarification." Hermione said entirely too calmly for Harry's peace of mind. A quick glance showed Neville and Dobby to be equally nervous.

"Run!" Dobby silently mouthed at Harry.

Harry gulped.

"Please continue Harry." Luna said sweetly. "Winky and I are quite curious as to what Neville and Dobby have been up to."

Neville whimpered.

Dobby was shaking in his seat as Winky played with his ears.

Malfoy, and most of those present, laughed at the three doomed boys.

After a few calming breaths Harry picked up the thread of his tale once more.

/^\ /^\

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x

The dragon kittens were an instant hit. Students and teachers alike had taken a liking to the furry little demons. By the time Harry and Neville finished filling out the metric ton of paperwork required for their Species Creation Licenses, the first years all had at least one of the DK's trailing around after them.

Once the paperwork was done and the boys had paid their weight in fees, Snap, Crackle and Pop decided that the field trip of the day would be to the amusement park. Which meant that they weren't there to see the next bit of pandemonium Harry had unknowingly caused.

While they were riding roller-coasters, Mcgonagall had come back from yet another meeting with the Board of Governors. It had been decided that the new classes would be kept. The Board had sent letters to their counterparts in the States and Australia to find enough teachers with the proper credentials. In total nine classes had been added to the curriculum, Alchemy, Healing, Rituals and Rites, Techomancy, Warding, Cosmology, Cultural Studies, General Studies and Combat.

Cultural Studies and General Studies were now required courses for first thru fifth years. Cultural Studies was Muggle Studies combined with wizarding culture and customs along with cultures from around the world. Muggles studies itself had been eliminated. Professor Burbage would be assisted by a teacher from the States to help with the transition. Rather than being upset Professor Burbage was thrilled. She had been trying to get such a course introduced for all six of the decades she had been teaching Muggle Studies. The same couldn't be said for Professor Trelawney. The old fraud went into hysterics and quit when she learned that Divination was up for a similar update.

General Studies was a course designed to teach basic math, sciences, literature, politics, government, etc…. The muggleborn had all been fairly accepting of it, after all it was nothing new to them. It was the purebloods (of course.) who raised a stink about it. They didn't understand why they had to learn "muggle trash". Which predictably started quite a few fights. It was a busy day in the hospital wing.

Alchemy, Healing, Technomancy, and Warding were all elective courses available only to those in fifth thru seventh year.

Alchemy, Healing and Warding were self explanatory.

Technomancy was relatively new, even in Australia and the States. The commonly held belief that magic and technology didn't mix had been disproven in the last couple of decades. You just had to know how to mix them properly.

Combat was a mix of magical dueling, muggle martial arts, Auror tactics and military strategy. This elective was available to seventh years only.

Cosmology (the study of space and time) and Rituals and Rites (exactly what it sounds like) were electives that would be open to students starting in third year.

/^\ /^\

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x

Hermione blinked. "There's new classes?"

"Yes." Mcgonagall smiled knowingly. "No, you may not take all of them." The Headmistress handed Hermione a sheet of parchment. "Hogwarts now offers a total of twenty classes. Those seventh year students who have been deemed responsible enough have been granted the privilege of self study and use of a time turner. Should one of those students abuse these privileges or fall below an EE in any class the student in question shall drop the extra courses and return to a normal class schedule." Mcgonagall paused. "Those who qualify for this self study are limited to twelve classes."

"Only twelve!" Hermione cried in horror. So many wonderful classes, so much knowledge just begging to be learned! How could she possibly choose just twelve?! It was a travesty! Muggle Studies and Divination were going to be worthwhile now! Healing was a wonderful skill. Cosmology? That sounded like the application of physics to magic. Technomancy would revolutionize wizarding Britain! How could Mcgonagall possibly expect her to choose just twelve? It wasn't _fair_!

"Yes Miss Granger, only twelve. Choose the courses you wish to study and turn that into me by dinner time tomorrow." Mcgonagall indicated the parchment Hermione was clutching.

"It's okay Hermione, I have a copy of the Syllabi for the other eight courses!" Luna chirped brightly, halting her friends impending meltdown.

"And how exactly did you acquire those Miss Lovegood?" Headmistress Mcgonagall gave the blonde a sharp look. "I only received those just before this meeting started."

"Ummm… Nargles?" The former Ravenclaw tried.

Mcgonagall removed her glasses and massaged the bridge of her nose. "Detention Mister Potter."

"Why?! What did _I_ do?" Harry cried in astonished protest.

"Had you kept your father's cloak out of reach I would not be dealing with this situation." Mcgonagall answered.

"But… b-but... I… she..." Harry sighed in defeat. "Yes professor."

"Thank you Luna." Hermione gave the pretty blonde a radiant smile.

Malfoy and Parkinson snickered.

"Tough luck mate." Simon whispered.

Neville winced sympathetically, but wisely stayed silent.

"Theft of school property aside, the information regarding the self study has not been released to the general school population yet. I will announce it at dinner along with another announcement that I will share once Mister Potter has finished his tale."

With a put upon sigh Harry began to speak once more.

/^\ /^\

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x

After Harry, Neville and Dobby returned with the first years they sauntered down to the Great Hall.

"Wait up!" A voice called.

Harry, Neville and Dobby turned around to see Susan Bones jogging towards him. "Hey Sue."

"Harry, I need your help!" Susan came to a halt beside them.

"Sure, what do you need?"

"I need to be a boy." Susan panted, catching her breath.

Harry paused, thinking it over. "Well, I know we didn't actually brew it in class, but there's a gender switch potion in our fourth year potions book. Or you could try that toffee the twins made."

"Those wear off, I need to _be_ a boy!" Susan shook her head at the suggestions.

"Oh, ok. Well, that's a little harder." Harry furrowed his brow.

"What about that disguise tonic?" Neville asked. "You know the one in Practical Alchemy."

"Oh hey, that's right! But it's only for stuff like hair and eye color isn't it?" Harry tried to recall what the description had said.

"It's be for height and shape too!" Dobby reminded him. The elf, still in his human glamour popped away. "Here!" Dobby popped back in with the book in question opened to the right page. He'd dropped the glamour.

"Heh, so it is." Harry and Neville skimmed the text.

"If we put the rune for gender _here_ ," Neville said pointing, "and the rune for male _there_ , we could do it."

"Yes, but we'd have to alter the location cluster; it's setup to change a _part_ of someone, we want to change the whole body." Harry chewed his lip.

"Pffttt." Dobby jabbed a finger at an array of glyphs. "We's just needs to replace pertho with ingwaz."

"Could work," Neville muttered. "Especially if we added an inverted othala here."

"Reordering the third cluster would…" Susan's eyes glazed over as the three debated the merits of this rune or that glyph. Runes were more Hannah's thing than hers.

"Hey, Susan?" Harry called.

"Yes?" Susan shook her head, clearing the cobwebs.

"Do you want to be a few inches taller?" The three looked at her expectantly.

"Umm… Sure?" _Being taller would be good,_ Susan mused.

"Ok, so we need to…" And the three were off again. Susan shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, they were standing in the middle of the main hallway and attracting quite a bit of attention from passersby.

"Good! Let's get to it!" Harry snapped the book closed, the noise made Susan jump. "We'll need you to come with us, we need to take some measurements and we'll need some blood and other samples."

"O-other samples?" Suddenly Susan had the feeling that she should have just waited for Hermione to come back.

"Eh," Neville waved off her concern. "Some bone, some tissues, a little bit of spinal fluid. Nothing to worry about." Neville spun her so she faced the stairs. "We need to get started if we're going to be done by curfew."

They didn't manage to be done by curfew, but by dawn Susan was Simon.

Neville yawned and cracked his neck. "So Simon, we never did ask, but why'd you need to change?"

"Hannah's father said the only way he would consent to let us marry is if one of us was male." The new made boy said quietly.

"Bastard." Harry said conversationally.

"Glad we could help." Neville gave an encouraging smile.

"I-it really worked. I'm male." Simon peeked down the front of his trousers, just to make sure.

"Yep! Yous can writes your name in the snow and everything!" Dobby exclaimed.

Simon grinned, "If it wouldn't send the wrong signals I'd kiss the lot of you! Thank you!" Simon laughed, it started out as a small chuckle and grew into a full blown belly laugh. "Hannah's going to flip!"

"Go get her Tiger." Harry grinned as he shooed their friend out the door.

/^\ /^\

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x

"I've been meaning to thank you for that." Hannah beamed at the trio. "Father tried to go back on his word, but Mother wouldn't let him. The weddings in August." Simon smiled a cocky little smile and pulled his betrothed closer.

"We'll be there." Harry promised.

"Congratulations!" Hermione exclaimed. "Excuse me." She turned to Harry, Neville and Dobby and spoke very patiently. "I am very proud of you boys for your achievement and for aiding our friends." The boys relaxed slightly. Hermione's face turned dark, "If you ever do anything like that again without at least showing me or Professors Babbling and Vector your work first it will be the last thing any of you do! Do you know how badly that could ended if you had been even the slightest bit off in your calculations?" Hermione gave them her best glare. "Even I wouldn't do it without getting at _least_ three other people to check it!" The boys cowered in the face of the bushy haired ones rage. Seeing that they were properly cowed Hermione relented. "But it was very sweet of you to do it."

Sensing that the worst was over Harry straightened up. Hoping to avoid any other remonstrations he dived back into his tale.

/^\ /^\

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x

If the boys hadn't stayed up all night or if they had had a chance to nap before having to keep watch over the firsties it might never have happened. But they _had_ stayed up all night and they _hadn't_ gotten a chance to nap so none of them reacted quite as quickly as they should have when someone started screaming out hexes and curses in the Great Hall.

Although slow to react it didn't take the boys too long to be on their feet and in fighting form. Identifying the attacker was easy, he was standing on a table in the corner, flinging spells wildly and rapidly. It was Professor Langley, this year's DADA instructor.

"Damn it! Why couldn't he have waited until June like all the others?" Neville growled as he shielded a group of third years from a nasty looking fuchsia colored spell.

"Even Umbridge and last years loser had the decency to wait!" Harry agreed.

Neville popped his head up above the table they were using for cover, "Harry we better move fast, Vector and Hooch are both down."

"Just like with Moldeshorts, I'll keep his attention you get behind him and then we go full bore." Harry tossed Neville his father's cloak and then launched himself over the edge of the table. "Come and get it sucker!" Harry shouted as he began firing off low energy spells, conserving his strength until Neville was in place and they could spring the trap. Less than a minute later Neville gave the signal and Harry opened up the floodgates. His casting rate doubled and then tripled as he flung spell after spell at the mad Professor.

Once the man's attention was fully on Harry, Neville whisked off the cloak and added to the barrage. The cross fire soon proved to be too much and Neville nailed Langley in the back with an over powered banishing charm, pushing him into the path of Harry's cutting curse. The head made a dull thumping sound as it hit the stone floor. A few seconds later the body joined it, still twitching.

"If you're hurt stay where you are. If you're not go to your dorm!" Harry called out and began organizing a triage while Madam Pomfrey tended to those who were the worst off. In the end no one but Langley died. Professor Hooch had been knocked out but would be fine. Professor Vector however would require a trip to St. Mungos. She'd been hit with a blood freezing curse and would need the attentions of a specialist. She was expected to make a full recovery. Nearly fifty students also had to be sent to St. Mungos in order to be treated for exposure to Black magic. Dark magics were bad enough, but Black magic was corrosive to both body and soul. It required several very involved cleansing rituals. Black magic didn't have to hit you to hurt you, and Langley had been throwing Black curses around like confetti.

Once again the Aurors had been called in. They took everyone's statements and removed the body. The unspeakables had to be brought in to cleanse the hall.

There were a lot of nightmares that night.

/^\ /^\

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x

The room was somber as the students and staff remembered the horror that had visited the school just three days ago.

"My God! Harry, are you alright?" Hermione stood and crossed over to the boy hero. _Not really a boy anymore,_ she noted.

Harry caught her hands as she ran them over him to assure herself he was whole. "I'm fine. A few cleansing rituals and a night in St. Mungos for observation was all I needed. No injuries, I promise." He smiled into her concerned eyes.

"You're going to be the death of me." Hermione enveloped Harry in one of her rib crushing hugs.

Malfoy started gagging, but yelped when Harry hit him with a wandless stinging hex.

"I hope not." Harry shot another stinging hex at Malfoy, just because.

"Mr. Potter." Mcgonagall gained Harry's attention. "Time grows short."

"Errr, right, sorry."

/^\ /^\

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x

While most of the school was rather jaded as far as Harry's misadventures went, the firsties were still relatively new to it. So to take their young impressionable minds off of the previous days nightmare Harry, Neville and Dobby took the tykes to a movie house showing old films. They watched The Sound of Music, The Godfather, several silent films, Disney's the Sword and the Stone, and more Abbott and Costello than should be legal.

Needless to say that day was a success.

For once the castle had a quiet day. No surprise classes, no missing professors, no new species being set loose, no school artifacts refusing to serve their function, no Professors bent on mass homicide. All in all it was a quiet day that led into a peaceful night. That's not to say that our three main suspects didn't have an interesting night.

As a surprise for Winky, Dobby wanted to give her a set of paints that would function much like the enchantments on wizarding portraits. So the three not so wise men returned once more to the Room of Requirement.

One attempt after another was tried and discarded, until Neville had an Idea!. They mixed quicksilver into the pigment instead of gum arabic like the ink recipe said. It worked beautifully. Because of the amount of fun they had painting pictures and designs they had to make another set of paints to give to Winky.

True to form the boys stayed up far too late playing with their new toys and fell asleep in the ROR rather than walking ten yards back to their rooms. And true to form this decision brought fresh chaos in the morning.

While they had been playing with the quicksilver infused inks Neville had drawn a tribal design that Harry had commented would make an awesome tattoo.

/^\ /^\

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x

Hermione didn't even bother getting upset. So far unintended tattoos were tamest thing that had happened. "Let's see it." She sighed. The boys began pulling up sleeves, shirt hems and pant legs.

Harry was the first to find his. On his stomach was a sleeping manticore. It's ears and paws were twitching, and once in awhile it's tail would swipe back and forth.

Neville's was lounging on his left calf. When it saw Hermione looking at it, it waved a paw in greeting. Shocked into speechlessness Hermione waved back.

Dobbys was stretched out across his shoulders, chewing on what looked to be a sock.

"They move, have a limited form of independent thought and we have a rudimentary form of communication with them. They also respond to touch." Harry told his fiancee while gently scratching at the spot on his stomach occupied by the tattoos head. It yawned and stretched while leaning into the scratch. After a large yawn it peered at Hermione with sleepy eyes before coming fully awake and dancing with excitement. Beside it a small multi colored ball of ink began to grow.

"No!" Harry scolded. "We ask first! I don't want another fiasco like what happened with Dean and Seamus." Pause. "Yes I know that Blaise and Daphne were happy with it, but it is still polite to ask." Pause. "Absolutely not. Just because she wears my ring it does _not_ make it ok to mark her without her permission."

Hermione watched in amusement as she listened to the one sided argument Harry was having with his tattoo.

"Yes I'll ask her! What kind of question is that?"

"Harry."

"Yes 'Mione?" Harry looked up from his belly botton.

Hermione reached out hesitantly and touched the moving ink construct. She could feel it, it felt like the gel in an ice pack when it was half frozen. Then, very deliberately, she looked into Harry's eyes and put her fingers on the pulsing, wiggling ball of ink. Hermione gasped as she felt it slide up her finger tips and curl around her wrist as the amorphous ball formed itself into a manticore. Hermione felt a low rumble of greeting and approval in her head.

Harry looked at the newest ink construction and then at his intended. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." Hermione smiled, gazing-

"Hey!" Malfoy shouted, reminding the two lovebirds that they had an audience. "Have your touching moment on your own damn time! Get to the end of it Potter, some of us would like to have dinner!"

Flustered and somewhat embarrassed Hermione resumed her seat as Harry put his shirt to rights. "So, yeah, ummm… that's about it really. I mean, there's a few other things, but I guess they can wait till later."

"You mean like how you stole two of my Snakes? Or how you sicced Brown on me? And let's not forget, MY GODFATHER IS _MISSING_!" Draco finished with a shout.

"You didn't find his letter?" Mcgonagall asked in surprise. "He sent his letter of resignation in by owl. Didn't you wonder why the Aurors left so suddenly during their search? He said he left you a letter in your cloak pocket." Malfoy fumbled frantically through his pockets and came up with a folded packet of parchments. "He's retired to an island in the south pacific." Mcgonagall folded her hands in front of her as she gave Malfoy a concerned look.

"I didn't exactly go into the snake pit on a recruiting trip, Malfoy. Daphne and Blaize came to me. And for the record I have no idea why Lavender has decided that you are her one true love. I had nothing to do with it." Harry defended himself against the unfair and mostly untrue accusations.

"Ummm… Headmistress, what was your announcement?" One of the fifth year prefects from Ravenclaw got the conversation back on track.

"I have two actually. First, professors for the new classes and to replace our empty slots, shall be arriving between now and Sunday. Which means classes will begin on Monday. Second, due to Ministry budget cuts four of the Saint schools have been closed." Mcgonagall spoke of the twelve Ministry run schools that were attended by those not fortunate enough to have the money or raw talent to attend Hogwarts. "Enough sponsors were found so that the seven brightest students from each year in those schools may attend Hogwarts. The rest of the students will be divided among the remaining Saint schools.

"Eight!" Harry raised his hand.

"Nine!" Called Neville.

"Ten!" Simon put in, not wanting to be left out.

"Tsk, fine." Malfoy huffed, "Eleven."

Mcgonagall beamed her approval. "Thank you boys, that is most generous.

"The influx of students combined with the ever increasing number of first years means we need extra help. So, we are hiring a fair number of teachers from the schools that are closing." Mcgonagall fixed them all with a stern eye, "I expect all of you, without exception, to be polite, courteous and helpful to the new students and staff." The old Scotswoman paused, "Failure to do so will result in the loss of your badges and being barred from the self study program. Questions?" The Headmistress' eyes roved around the room. "Yes Miss Granger?"

Hermione lowered her hand, "Pardon, but where is Professor Sprout?"

Flitwick answered her, "Pomona volunteered to be our liaison between the new professors and students. She is currently overseeing a meeting with the Board of Governors."

"Ah, thank you Professor." Hermione nodded, happy to check one more question off the list.

"If no one else has questions? No? Very well. Dinner awaits, off with you." Mcgonagall shooed them out.

Harry and Hermione hung back with Neville and Luna, waiting for the door to clear. Dobby and Winky popped out. "You looked entirely too smug when you denied any knowledge of Lavenders interest in Malfoy." Hermione accused with an arched brow.

Harry grimaced, "I hadn't meant to do it."

"You never do." Neville quipped.

Harry rolled his eyes and continued. "When Lavender heard that we were engaged she started hounding me about wedding details. I got rather sick of it. I was being sarcastic when I told her that I thought she and Malfoy would make a good couple. It's not my fault she took it seriously!" Harry exclaimed petulantly.

Hermione bit her lip to suppress her laughter.

"And the best part?" Luna smiled coyly, "Lady Malfoy favors the match!"

Hermione let go of the laugh she had been holding in. "You're kidding!" She linked arms with Luna and strolled out the door, Harry and Neville trailing after them.

"Are we going to tell them about the-" Neville began sotto voiced.

"Never!" Harry hissed, cutting his friend off before he could say the damning words. "We agreed to never speak of it!"

"Right. Well, it's been a hell of start to the school year." Neville quickly changed the subject.

"If it's any indication of how this year is going to go, we're in for quite the ride." Harry agreed.

"Bring it."

finis


End file.
